Bad Luck or No Luck At All...

I went to watch Senario XXX with my little cousin yesterday on Wesak Day. After finished, we walked to City Plaza, one of shopping complex available in Alor Star. We waited for my brother to fetch us up there. I then left my little cousin while I went to buy something. I reminded him not to go anyway, just stay there at the entrance. He refused to come with me because he wanted to read a magazine I bought him. But then when I got back there, he was not there. I searched all over the place about 30 minutes but could not find him. Then, my brother called me-telling he was already there. So, I went to meet him. He then decided to go and find our cousin while I waited in the car. We couldn’t leave the car without driver since it was no parking area. But sooner he came telling that he failed to find that little cousin.

Aiyooo…so penat laa, we spent 45 minutes searching for him and it almost sunset. Must go home before sunset but what to tell my uncle if we go home without his son. I wanted to find my cousin again but my brother wanted to go inside. So, I let him and kept on waiting in the car. Suddenly I saw my little cousin at the entrance door. I gave him a horn but he didn’t listen. Then, he went inside the building again. Without thinking, I rushed out the car and chased for my cousin. Got him and we backed to car. Unfortunately, there was a police traffic standing at my car and jotting down something. Well, what to expect…must be a summon laa. Actually, I left my car at no parking area. Didn’t mean to do that. Thought just gonna be in the car while waiting for my brother coming back with our cousin. But…just gonna happen that way.

My little cousin laughed at me. Yeye…kaklong kena saman. I’ll kill that boy. It’s all because of him. He though it was funny to be summoned by a police traffic. I scolded him and he was silence until we home…hahaha. Actually, it is not his fault, it just about me. Just see something in front of me; never care what is behind me. When I saw my cousin, I just thought of chasing him. Straightly forget that my car was at no parking area. But what was more frustrated is I just left the car less than 5 minutes and being summoned during that period. I was in the car for 15 minutes at the same place. Why the police must come when I left the car. Damnnn…what a bad luck.

When something bad happened frequently, can we still call it bad luck? I ever heard people who was always faced with trouble said, “this is not bad luck, totally no luck at all”. May be they were right. It was not one, two or three times but almost every times. Tried not to believe it but it kept on happen, could not help myself. Some people arrogantly did something against the rules or law without fear but nothing happen to them. I never ever want to break the rules or law but if I did it, everything seems big and worst to me. Most of the things I really wanted to do or wanted to have were against me. I did not get it and if I get it, it was not easy. No first trial work out for me. Sometimes, people try for fun, they get it. But I try it with all my heart…what do I get-frustration.

Is it the purpose of my life? To be the story to others that there is a person in this world lived like me. No dream comes true. No hope comes real. No ambition achieved. No effort work out. When she traveled, transport broke down. When she in the kitchen, things broken. When she try to be nice, people cheated her. When she queue to pay bills, counter close at her turn. When she try something, the 10th attempts will work out. When she devoted to do something, so many hurdles for her. God, what is the purpose of my life. People said, “everyone life has a purpose. Sometimes you just need help to find it”. Send some helps to me. I’m tired of this life.

Life is difficult. The more we try to understand, the far we lost. Just move on.